Sharing Humor, Beauty and Art
Why I Don't DrinkWhen people tell you what you did at a party and you don't remember, it's time to quit drinking.
Anything for MoneyElected officials in the United States must sell themselves out to get money to run campaigns; and that's part of the problem.
Pangolin Rolling Into a BallIn Namibia a Pangolin rolls in to a ball, licks himself with his long tongue, and rolls off into a bush. Weird, but that's what Pangolins do.
A Fickle Young WomanA humorous prank and love gone wrong. A young woman finds a gentleman sitting in the café to be attractive, and attempts to strike up a conversation, but only until someone better looking comes along.
A Worried Patient
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so." The doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'No Refills.'"
Ocean's Best FishermenIt's hard to catch anything when your boat is surrounded by some of the ocean's best fishermen. But at least they provide some good entertainment..
One Big Feeding FrenzyPolitics in the United States has been likened to one big feeding frenzy by corporate interests with voters picking up the tab.
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road." - Henry Ward Beecher
"A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done" - Dwight D. Eisenhower
"A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing." - Laura Ingalls Wilder
Whale Breaches on KayakersHumpback Whale breaches and lands on top of a couple of kayakers. Spoiler alert they were not seriously harmed..
12 More Steven Wright Quotes
13 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
14 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
15 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
16 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
17 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
18 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
19 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
20 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
In Norway , "Texas" is slang for "crazy."
''Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.'' —Groucho Marx
''Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.'' —Will Rogers
Wake Boarding with DolphinsSomewhere on the Sea of Cortez dolphins are entertained as a woman wake-boards behind a boat.
49% believe in ESP.
51% read their horoscopes regularly
53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on. Which may explain why...
14% of us claim to have seen a ghost.
Under a TornadoFarmers get a huge surprise when a tornado lands on top of them. (no strong language version)
The Numbers of NatureSome of the more mathematically inclined may recognize this as the Fibonacci sequence.
Outer space begins at 100 kilometers (62 mi) above sea level.
Same old ThingYears ago the Internet brought us new experiences,these days it seems like the same old thing. There's a reason for that
Mildred was Heartbroken
Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss this vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound to her left knee.
To Scale: The Solar SystemOn a dry lakebed in Nevada, a group of friends build the first scale model of the solar system with complete planetary orbits: a true illustration of our place in the universe..
Mark Twain and slaveryComedy gold by Louis CK on reading the story of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain to his daughter and trying to deal with the N-word.
Bonobos, one of our most closely related primates, are rarely, if ever, found in zoos because they constantly have sex (both oral and genital) with each other regardless of their own age or sex.
An Opinion on X FactorFrom a country that gave us the Beatles, Pink Floyd, David Bowie, and many more the X factor seems a bit of a let-down.
-- Henry David Thoreau --
Worst Magic EverComedic observations about a group that took the Greek name name for circle of brothers, A group that features a Grand Wizard, but doesn't seem to be much good at magic..
Blonde Parents
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."
Women Drivers and Men's WeaknessAre men better drivers than women, if so why do men get more tickets. All is explained in this humorous skit about Georgia courts.
Racing and Destroying $300 Cars What do you get when you put $300 cars in a 3-hour endurance race? A whole lot of destruction, that's what! This is the 4th year of running the event, and bigger than ever. Perhaps too big, some might say. .
Friend Zone AnthemThis tongue-in-cheek music video goes out to the decent guys who never get the girl.
Whiskey
Recently one Congressman from a Bible belt congressional district was asked about his attitude toward whiskey.
The politician responded, "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it."
He continued, "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Here is true friendship
2. When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
3. When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.
4. When you are worried ~ I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
5. When you fall ~ I will laugh at you, but I'll help you up.
Self DatingThe world’s first, and only, self-dating website. Maybe the best committed relationship – is with yourself.
Stewart Francis Stand-upClassic one-liners in this standup comedy routine` as only Stewart Francis can deliver them.
Alexander The Great may have been bisexual, which in his time was not controversial.
The Science of LazinessWhy are some people so lazy? The lack of desire to do physical activity and just be lazy, according to AsapScience, may be in your DNA, specifically your “couch potato” gene..
Caller Id NicknamesWhen you add someone's number to your phone do you add a nickname to help you remember?
Silly Latin LanguageA humorous monologue explaining why Latin, though the root of many languages, never took off as a global language.
A Woman's Amazing Dream.
A woman woke from an amazing dream. In it, her husband gave her a very expensive necklace.
She told her husband about her dream, and asked "What do you think that means?"
Her husband replied "Oh, you'll find out tonight".
That evening, her husband came home with a small box with a bow on it.
With much excitement, the woman unwrapped the box, and peeked inside.
There was a book entitled "A Guide to Understanding Dreams"
The U.S. officially adopted the metric system in 1975 when President Gerald Ford signed the Metric Conversion Act.
Mrs. Brown's BrowserMrs. Brown discovers how to use a browser and searches for ''woman needs a man'', with hilarious results.
Teacher Teacher Don't Be Fooled
Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand.
Little Jimmy stood up.
Mrs. White said, "Jimmy, do you really think you're stupid?".
"No," Jimmy said. "But I didn't want you standing up there alone."
Les ChevaliersLes Chevaliers, fighter planes perform a graceful ballet while leaving jet trails in the sky.
Your DongleA humorous sketch about setting up for a conference and trying to make their dongle's work - something that sounds dirty but it's not.
Bourbon takes its name from Bourbon County in Kentucky, where it was first produced in 1789 by a Baptist minister.
Teaching MathThis comedian was once a math teacher and has real-life experience to support his humorous comedy monologue. .
Lower Your ExpectationsLower your expectations is Burnham's humorous advice to women who are looking for love.
Dyslexics
You can say what you like about their writing.
But at least they always cross the i's and dot the t's.
WKUK Old Folks Home A humorous sketch about striking gold at the old folks home - who knew they had so many party drugs.
13 Things You Think Are True, But Aren't It's crazy how many things are repeated until they become common knowledge - even if they aren't true.
In 1900, 40% of American cars were powered by steam, 38% by electricity, and 22% by gasoline.
The Facebook GenerationYoung comic breaks down his generation's use of social media and the transformation of narcissism.
We hang petty thieves and appoint the great thieves to public office. - Aesop, Greek Slave & Fable Author
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. - Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer
John Oliver: Nuclear WeaponsAs a nation we don't think much about a nuclear attack anymore. We assume, and probably correctly, that no one in their right mind would launch a nuclear attack. But who is keeping an eye on our nuclear stockpile. .
Jupiter is two and a half times more massive than all the other planets in the solar system combined. It is made primarily of gases and as such is known as a "gas giant".
Fractal - 4k StormLapseSupercell thunderstorms are a manifestation of nature's attempt to correct an extreme imbalance..
Is That a Clean WetYou see someone that you haven't seen in a while coming out of the bathroom. Reflexively you extend your hand for a handshake and it's a wet handshake.
Writing in ancient Greece "hadnospacebetweenthewords."
The Bible is the number one shoplifted book in America.
Navigating a Tight TurnA short time lapse of a ship navigating a tight turn in a shipping channel using thrusters.
The Restaurant of Life Eating at The Restaurant of Life is a humorous series of metaphors that imagines the journey through life as a series of meals. /p>
Every Year there is a Race
Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other...
They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.
Drunk ChicksIn this classic comedy skit, comedian Chris D'elia pokes fun at the way drunk women sound.
So Ghetto - SNL Four women share which aspects of their lives are "so ghetto " in this comedy sketch from Saturday Night Live.
The largest Great White Shark ever caught measured 37 feet and weighed 24,000 pounds. It was found in a herring weir in New Brunswick in 1930.
New ZealandVideo from the South Island of New Zealand featuring natural landscapes, rugged coastlines, lush plains, and amazing views..
I've Always Dreamed
I've always dreamed of swimming in an ocean of orange soda
Its a fanta-sea of mine
If Meeting The Parents Were Honest Don't say anything offensive and try to be on your best behavior - a humorous sketch about meeting her parents for the first time. The inevitable awkward situation when two people have been dating for a long time.
The OCD CoupleI think I dreamt this...and we're gonna need to blow some candles out. And oh by the way have you counted the eggs.
The English word "Callipygian" means having a beautiful ass.
Car Crash PrankThe best pranks are the pranks that make people think they're losing their mind. This prank definitely leaves people scratching their head.
Talking in the Pub
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."
The Last LegHost of The Last Leg finally had the guts to say about politicians what many have been thinking.
Period SketchA humorous comedy sketch featuring guys posing as a group of girls sitting around over-analyzing everything because it's that time of the month.
According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.
No Soul TragedyThere is nothing sadder in this world than a black man or a black woman without soul. You can help, send your dollars today.
Zero Tolerance for Idiots
Junior high schools have a zero tolerance policy on name calling, so a teacher had a concern when a student complained another student had called him the "E" word.
"E" word? the teacher asked, puzzled as she could could not think of single bad name beginning with E.
The student lowered his voice and muttered, "idiot"
Boating Goof UpsA compilation of boating mistakes, errors and other humorous stuff. A lot of people say any day out on the water is a good day, but the people in these videos prove that that's not always the case.
Rejected Horse NamesEquestrian owners are known for their sense of humor. A few names they tried to slip past the Thoroughbred Racing Commission.
Regularly faking happiness and/or motivation has proven to increase happiness and/or motivation.
What Does Kindness Get Youwhat does kindness get you, is a good and the message from this video is emotional satisfaction.
Just kids talking
Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works all day to give us a nice home and good food.
My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid asks, "What if they try to escape?"
World’s longest underwater ‘crystal’ caveA gallery of images showing the chambers and crystal clear waters of Orda Cave.
Ship in StressStress and effect on a vessel in severe weather conditions. Recorded during passage from Suez Canal to Singapore
Just a Little WindJust a little function to let off some excess pressure still lots of people find it hilarious.
A Funny Thing Happened in France
As it happens, an Englishman in France was totally drunk. A French policeman stopped the Englishman’s car and asked if he had been drinking.
With great difficulty, the Englishman admitted he had been drinking all day. His daughter got married that morning and he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, then had “many” single malt Scotches after that.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeded to administer an alcohol breath test to the Englishman and verified that he was indeed totally sloshed. He asked the Englishman if he knew why, under French law, he was going to be arrested.
The Englishman answered with a bit of humor, saying, “No sir, I do not! But while we’re asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is driving… on the other side?”
View of Jupiter from NASA’s Juno spacecraftIn this video the beauty of the surface of Jupiter is brought out, and the motion of the atmosphere is far intricate than most imagined..
Trying To Fix StuffWomen don't understand that getting frustrated is an important part of guys ability to fix stuff.
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
3. A dog's parents never visit.
4. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
5. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
7. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
All About NothingWhy do TV shows always have to be about something. Seinfeld, a show about nothing, was entertaining and a great success.
Based on genetic studies only 40% of all men that have ever existed have ever reproduced, while 80% of women have reproduced. This means polygyny and war have basically been constants in human history.
Two Types of AsianRussell Peters who is Asian of Indian descent humorously points out that there are two types of Asians (actually a lot more).
The Senior Citizens' Field Trip
A senior citizens' group charters a bus from Windsor to Branson. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!"
The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back, and sit down.
A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested. The driver was beginning to think he had a bus load of old wackos. Who would be molesting those old ladies?
About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested. The bus driver decides that he'd had better investigate, and pulls into the first rest area.
When he turns the lights on, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.
"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver.
"I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I grab it, it runs away..."
The Streets of San FranciscoWhat it was like to travel the streets of San Francisco over a hundred years ago.
Do You Hear Me KnockingThis cat has developed an annoying, or cute way of getting people to open the door
In 1938 Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel sold all rights to the comic-strip character Superman to their publishers for $130.
Your Brain on LSD and Acid LSD also known as acid is a psychedelic drug known for altering your perception and creating hallucinations. But how does it work and what happens to your brain and body when you drop acid?
Huge Waves Strike CliffsIn the Atlantic there have been numerous strong storms this year and they have pumped out massive waves. This video shows 45 foot (15 m) waves crashing against the 90 (30 m) foot cliffs in Portugal.
Sorry Fred
The experienced male says to the other: “ Let’s not be greedy. You start at one end, I’ll start at the other, and we both meet in the middle.”
The other agreed, so they started.
The experienced would always thank his female as he finishes with her, “ Thanks, Suzy… ta, honey…thanks, darling….. Sorry Fred!”
Humorous comedy routine on why we work. What's the point of working so hard?
Guys Will Race Anything Any whereA series of unusual racing vehicles featuring rock crawlers, jet boats racing through wading depth water, sand and mud dragsters, swamp racers, specially built dirt climbers, and finally schoolbus racing.
The collection of spikes on the end of the tail of dinosaurs like the Stegosaurus is known among scientific circles as the 'Thagomizer' - a term coined not by a palaeontologist, but by cartoonist Gary Larson in a 1982 Far Side drawing, where it was explained (by a caveman) that it was named 'after the late Thag Simmons'.
No Respect for BatmanReginald Hunter, who appears to be having a bad hair day but as it turns out lost a bet, humorously explains why he has no respect for Batman.
Monsoon Time-lapseAll summer long chasing storms, and some days you get nothing great, some days you get six amazing scenes in a single afternoon. (A powerful rain shaft, An intense hail core dump, Shelf clouds, Dust storms, Lightning, The Milky Way ) .
Saving Time!
"Why?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'
"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner.
Now I do it in ten..
Careful for What You WishAppearances can deceive and and wishing to be in someone else's shoes is not always the best strategy.
The number of molecules in 10 drops of water are equal to the number of all the stars in the universe.
First Black GirlfriendComedienne Akilah Hughes pokes fun at awkward interracial dating moments including touching her hair and fried chicken.
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
In Scotland, "any Scotsman found to be wearing underwear beneath his kilt, can be fined two cans of beer.
USA vs UK ViolenceA British comedy show asks if the US is more violent than the UK - Doug Stanhope has the answer.
Warning Signs of AdulthoodNo one wants to grow up. A humorous compilation of signs that you have entered the twilight zone of adulthood - and there's no escape.
Stereotypes
For a class project a professor asks his students call out some of the stereotypes they have encountered
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.
Saintly HumorDavid Allen's jokes have long been told and retold on the Internet even though you may even recognize a few of these jokes he still remains a master humorist.
The German for “contraceptive” is Schwangerschaftsverhütungsmittel.
Too Many Rules and DistractionsHumorous comedy sketch on how the local motor vehicle authorities treat drivers like children and treat children like imbeciles.
Nothing Ruins ComedyComedian Tim Minchin with this trademark combination of biting satirical lyrics and surreal showmanship.
Toilet Brush.
Bubba and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how's that toilet brush?"
"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."
Heavy Equipment AnticsThis video starts out with an excavator operator trying to dig himself out of a river without submerging the air intake on his heavy equipment.
5 Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough
.
John Cleese: Political Correctness an Orwellian NightmareThe essence of comedy is being critical, says Cleese, and that means causing offense sometimes. But we shouldn't protect everyone from experiencing negative emotions by enforcing political correctness, he says. .
Size Doesn't MatterCan you can figure out what these two comedians are talking about when they say size doesn't matter, in this humorous comedy sketch.
The Earth's core is hotter than the surface of the sun!
Amazingly Bright BioluminescenceAt the edge of the water in Tasmania tiny living organisms glow brightly when they are disturbed, the light they emit is a form of chemiluminescence.
Working From HomeWhen you work from home staying on schedule despite distractions is difficult enough.
Keaton Radiohead ChoreographyThe choreography between the music and the clips is spot-on. Buster Keaton’s genius has long been praised, but his visual gags, too many, seem outdated, a type of humor that is seldom used in modern comedy.
Nothing Beats KittensCompeting for views is tough when the top videos on YouTube are kittens and puppies.
Blessed are the Cracked!
Blessed are the Cracked, for They Let in the Light!
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every damn minute of it.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Ship Running AgroundA 200 meter long container ship ran aground as it was traveling the East Lamma shipping channel in Hong Kong.
A Message about Your KidsA PSA message about your kids and how they're doing
in school. You're brilliant prodigy is lazy and dumb.
Two Deaf Men Were Talking
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.
The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."
“The second deaf man signed back, "Boy you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?"
The second man replied, "I turned out the light."