Points to Ponder

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags"

and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs",

What does that make the Tennessee Titans ?

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 on those little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks

so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Consistency is the final refuge of the unimaginative

The only truly consistent people are dead

What's the difference between 'fat chance' and 'slim chance'?

If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience

"Life is all about ass. You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it or trying to get a piece of it."

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."

-Sir Winston Churchill

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

- Winston Churchill

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

- Mark Twain