What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Windows!
A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many textures, prints and hues of pink fabrics. Once she has finally picked out a pink floral pattern, the salesman asked her "What sizes do you need?"
She replies "15 inches."
He exclaims "15 INCHES?! What room are they for?" She says, "I only need one, and it's not for a room. It's for my computer monitor."
The surprised salesman exclaims, "Miss, computers do not have curtains."
The blond says "HELLOOooooooo.... I've got Windows!"
How do you change a blonde's mind?
Buy her another beer.
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
How do blonde brain cells die ?
Alone.
How do you brainwash a blonde?
Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
What will she ask you?
"Is it mine?"
How does a blond kill a fish?
She drowns it.
How does a blonde hold her liquor?
By the ears.
Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
Who cares?
Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Why don't blondes like anal sex?
They don't like their brains being screwed with.
How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
They spread for the bread.
What do you get when you turn 2 blondes upside-down?
Two brunettes.
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
She realized she gave her last blowjob.
What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
a foursome.
What do you give the blonde that has everything?
Penicillin.
Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
It's too hard to re-train them.
Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
They have to pull their own pants down.
What do blondes do for foreplay?
Remove their underwear.
What's the mating call of the blonde?
"I'm *sooo* drunk!"
What's the mating call of the redhead?
"Next!"
Why did the blond take her typewriter to the doctor ??
She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Why did the blonde with a big pussy douche with crest?
She heard that it reduces cavities.
Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
She heard that the drinks were on the house.
